Children's Environment = Children's Development
We are not the mere product of our environment. We are free and responsible to choose between right and wrong, good and bad. However, the care and instruction we receive during our childhood years are key to our development, and parents must ensure the wholesome environment of their children. Children growing up with a lack of guidance will have no means with which to avoid justifying unethical or immoral behavior until they lose the ability to discern right from wrong.
The importatnce of parents’ responsibility to their children is best stated in the Old Testament, "Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it" (834). This statement not only describes parental obligations, but also gives age old insight to what modern day researchers are concurring with; that childhood is a time of crucial development. Scientists at the National Institute of Child Health and Human Development, a subdivision of the National Institute of Health, are among those who concur with this idea. In a recent report, they state that childhood is a unique period of behavioral development, and that the years of Kindergarten through sixth grade are especially significant as children expand thinking capacities, self-management, and skills to interact with others, as well as form friendships and socialize outside of the family structure. They also say that physical development during this period progresses along a trajectory that transforms a child into an adolescent. They go on to state that the intervention programs under way and/or being considered to deal with the problems of adolescents that are common in our society such as dropping out of school, teenage pregnancy, depression, suicide and experimentation with and dependence upon licit and illicit substances are too late, since the roots of the problems start earlier in development (National Institute of Child Health and Human Development).
I myself have done extensive work with juvenile delinquents, most of whom are sex offenders at youth shelters. Some of the residents of the shelter, both male and female, had been abused physically, some sexually. Some had even been exposed to satanic cultism, but all of them had the commonality of having been abused by those who should have their source of guidance in the world. As a result of their abuse and neglect, they had been left with little guidance and eventually became offenders themselves, all before reaching the age of 18.
Another group I have observed over a number of years is the large and growing number of friends around me whose parents had divorced when they were at a young age. Almost without fail I have observed a marked personality flaw that you don’t need a doctor’s degree to see could easily be linked back to a turbulent childhood. Whether it be social ineptness, sexual offense, chronic depression, or some other serious matter, I have observed these traits tend to be stronger and much more common in children of divorced couples.
This should not be surprising considering their home life. Much like the conditions that existed in the youth shelters, I observed constant bickering, fighting both verbally and physically, lying, and a good deal of violent behavior. Compare this with the conditions I observed in the home of my mission president. I saw there a seemingly perfect environment where his children would clean their rooms and do their homework with their parents. While interacting, the children, following the example of their parents, would always compliment and thank each other. Night and day is an insufficient description of the differences of that home in comparison to the environment present in the youth shelters.
Time and time again in the youth shelters I would hear the residents make excuses and rationalize away obviously unacceptable behavior with what psychologists call "thinking errors."Dr. Richard King has defined this form of irrational thought."Thinking errors are maladaptive ways of perceiving and reacting to a situation. Thinking errors distort reality and result in a person feeling badly about him/herself or may be used to protect oneself from bad feelings" (17). In other words, thinking errors are irrational thoughts we use to justify our actions or protect ourselves emotionally. For example, justifying stealing something from a store because the store owner is rich and wouldn’t miss the item is a thinking error of minimization. By minimizing the impact of one’s actions, one is able to commit illicit acts and escape guilt. Other common thinking errors include rationalization, over generalization, denial, and blaming others. A very common example of the thinking error of denial, is the coined phrase, "ignore it, and it will go away." I observed all of these types of thinking errors on a daily basis while working with juvenile delinquents. I am convinced that if better parental guidance had been provided, much of the irrational thinking would have been avoided.
Imagine our psyche to be a short, cylindrical pipe through which flow our emotions. Although sometimes we may get hurt emotionally because of the flow of emotions, our thinking rational thoughts and allowing our emotions to flow is a healthy state. Thinking errors are attempts to stop those negative influences of reality from hurting us by suppressing emotion from flowing freely. For example, refusing to accept a loved one is dead might stop us from feeling bad for a time, but it is denial and an unhealthy state of mind. In this state of suppressed emotion, one tries to protect their emotional state, and we see generally two emotions that surface. These are anger and fear. Anger and fear are "distancing emotions." They are emotions that distance other from us or push others away, thus sustaining as false sense of security. It is not surprising to observe an inordinate amount of thinking errors among juvenile sex offenders who themselves had been abused. Research of domestic violence performed by health care practitioners for the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services concur that it is children who have the most difficult time dealing with traumatic problems and conveying their horrific experiences to others (U.S. Department of Health and Human Services). It is no wonder that many children who have been sexually offended themselves in turn become offenders.
The Doctrine and Covenants gives us profound insight as to the phenomenon of children becoming delinquent due in part to a lack of guidance. "The glory of God is intelligence, or, in other words, light and truth. Light and truth forsake that evil one. Every spirit of man was innocent in the beginning; and God having redeemed man from the fall, men became again, in their infant state, innocent before God. And that wicked one cometh and taketh away light and truth, through disobedience, from the children of men, and because of the tradition of their fathers" (182). Here we discover the origin of thinking errors. They are not just a coincidental occurrence in our brain but come from the adversary in an attempt to get us to justify sin. When we choose the right, not only do we feel good, but our spirits are enlightened, and we become aware of truths previously unknown to us. The same is true conversely: when we sin, the Spirit of the Lord withdraws from us, and with it light and truth, or as stated in the scripture, intelligence. If we follow the path the thinking errors provide, eventually we lose the ability to discern between right and wrong. We become unsure and confused concerning moral issues rather than having the clarity of the Holy Spirit. This state of spiritual darkness is due to disobedience. However, as stated in the scripture, the process is also facilitated by the tradition of their fathers, or in other words, the ignoble and unprincipled behavior of their parents. Thus we see that it is a combination of a lack of proper parental guidance and following the thinking errors from the adversary which lead one to such a state of misery.
The proof of this principle lies within the distancing emotions produced by thinking errors. When we feel the influence of the Holy Ghost, we are happy. We want to be with our friends and family. We receive joy from seeing others happy. The distancing emotions of anger and fear are quite the opposite. When we allow ourselves to be lulled by thinking errors into committing sin, the Spirit withdraws, and we don’t want to be around our loved ones. We distance others from us. We may even find pleasure in the suffering of others.
In the youth shelters, prescription drugs were used to suppress much of the more violent tendencies of the residents as well as treat their psychological state. I feel, however, that this means of temporary solutions comes too little, too late. Furthermore, the use of the drugs itself can prove to be a hazard as researchers for the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services studying their use on children for Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder observed. They found that the use of methylphenidate and amphetamine, drugs commonly used in the treatment programs of juvenile delinquents and sex offenders who are ADHD, nationwide has increased significantly in recent years. This increased availability and use of psychostimulants has intensified the concerns about use, overuse, and abuse (U.S. Department of Health and Human Services). No drug treatment can compensate for the previous lack of a loving, mindful parent.
If not drugs, what then can aid us in the development of our youth? Just as the Old Testament, our modern day prophets of The First Presidency have counseled us unceasingly as to the infinite importance of providing the proper guidance our children need. "Parents have a sacred duty to rear their children in love and righteousness, to provide for their physical and spiritual needs, to teach them to love and serve one another, to observe the commandments of God and to be law-abiding citizens wherever they live. Husbands and wives--mothers and fathers--will be held accountable before God for the discharge of these obligations" (The First Presidency and Council of the Twelve Apostles of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter day Saints). The simple reason we will be held accountable for the guidance we provide our children or fail to provide our children is that we will be in part responsible for their actions, whether good or evil. Children lacking crucial guidance are not the only ones who suffer by being unable to distinguish right from wrong, but they suffer the most.
Works Cited
The First Presidency and Council of the Twelve Apostles of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter day Saints. The Family: A Proclamation to the World 1997.
Holy Bible. King James Version, Proverbs 22:6. 1989.
King, Dr. Richard. Common Thinking Errors 1998.
National Institute of Child Health and Human Development. Behavioral Development in Middle Childhood National Institute of Health Guide (20 Aug. 1993). 15 Mar. 1999 <http://www.nih.gov/grants/guide/rfa-files/RFA-HD-94-007.html>.
Smith, Joseph. Doctrine and Covenants 93:36-39 (emphasis added) 1989.
U.S. Department of Health and Human Services. Diagnosis and Treatment of Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (Sept. 1998). 17 Mar. 1999 <http://www.nlm.nih.gov/pubs/cbm/adhd.html>.
U.S. Department of Health and Human Services. Domestic Violence Assessment
by Health Care Practitioners (June 1997). 17 Mar. 1999 <http://www.nlm.nih.gov/pubs/cbm/domestic_violence_assessment.html>.