NASA's Magnificent Seven

Mission Pilot: Who else are you gonna get to fly the thing?

• Favorite Food: Pizza
• Favorite Movie: The Jerk
• Quote: "If it has wings I can crash it!"

Mission Commander: "Hey, the whole thing was my idea. I think I should get to be in charge."

• Favorite Food: Sushi
• Favorite Movie: "Johnny Lingo"
• Quote: "I'm gonna die!  I'm gonna die!"

IT Support: His duties on this mission will include sitting in the back and do all that computer stuff in between Zelda games so we don't have to bother with all that technical computer gobbly-goo.

• Favorite Food: Pizza
• Favorite Movie: Yental
• Quote: "What we have here is a failure to communicate."

Mission Scapegoat: The admiral's role, other than funding the mission, will be to take the blame should anything go wrong.

• Favorite Food: Not sushi
• Favorite Movie: Yental II (Okay, it was never made into a movie, but it shoulda been!)
• Quote: "Run away! Run away!"

Mission Security: He will make sure no one sneaks on board the shuttle while we're in space.

• Favorite Food: Root Beer (We tried to explain that root beer was technically not a food.)
• Favorite Movie: Babes in Toyland
• Quote: "Slower than monkey's butt in winter!

Mission Specialist: Private O'Brien's unique physical structure will replace the shuttle's crane arm, serving as a much longer, cheaper way to grab satellites, women, etc.

• Favorite Food: Pizza
• Favorite Movie: Austin Powers
• Quote: "It's my island!

Mission Poster Boy: Now appearing in Penthouse Magazine, and voted sexiest man to be put into space, his role on the mission is simply to draw more attention like we tried with John Glenn so the space program can get more funding like we did from the release of  movies like Apollo 13, Independence Day, Armageddon, and October Sky.

• Favorite Food: Pizza
• Favorite Movie: Annie
• Quote:  "Dum-dum-didday!!

Stik O'Brien: Our mission objective is to land on Mars, drop off O'Brien and return safely to the earth. Sorta like when they take the T-Rex back to that island, safely away from people in Jurassic Park II. I think we have a good shot at it working.

• Favorite Food: Pizza
• Favorite Movie: The Spy Who Shagged Me
• Quote: "Look at me from the side. Do I look big to you?"