Click CountryLegendary Group of Wild People
Click on a face or name* to read more about this legendary group of wild people. |
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More Pics of the Click: these pics are of Kiwanda, the most
sacred place in Click Country.
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The Latest: The big day is approaching this June. That's right, Benni Boy is giving up his freedom for a lifetime of marriage. The media has been alerted, and thousands...or dozens of women have called in to confirm that he will be off the market. Benni's stats on the court have been suffering, though, and many believe it's because he's distracted by his fiancee. Here's a pic of Ben at one of the Kiwandan
arches.
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One time when Stamps had just got back after being gone to Asia for two years, Bunk took him and Py down to his family's beach cabin. What a place! Although the cabin itself gives you that rustic feeling almost like camping, their fondest memory of the place was when they broke the world record for best sandcastle ever. It was the second day of of three day expedition. The day before they had attempted to build a castle in the lee of a rock face because of severe wind. Today they chose a place farther south between two rocks. There, with a couple shovels and their bare hands they built a castle so big that it spanded from one rock formation to the other. They built the walls row after row, thicker and taller than they ever had before. After laboring for much of the day, they called their work complete as the incoming tide forced them away from their castle. You have to build the castle where the water comes, you see, or else you can't fight the tide as it comes in. That, and the sand is too dry to do anything with it. To their amazement, they came back the next day to behold that the castle had withstood the tide over night! High tide had come and gone, turning the castle into an island, and it still stood firm! Well, it's unheard of to have a castle like that withstand the tide. They always are washed away. But that one was still standing. Here's another pic of Bunk at the beach; this is him and Stik at the Click's favourite beach, Cape Kiwanda. The Latest: Bunk has become the third college graduate in the Click! Congrats! Now you can check out his stained glass at kbunk.com.
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Born at an early age, our ace pilot always dreamed of someday having his head up in the clouds. He attained his dream early on in life by getting his pilot's license while still a crazy teenager (which is not to say he is no longer crazy). I Remember when he took Py and Stamps out to Pacific City over by Cape Kiwanda. When they came around for a landing, Stamps asked him, "Aren't you going to radio into the tower first?" "Tower?" he said, "There's no tower here!" To Stamps' horror, not only was there no air traffic control of any kind, but they just happen to choose the world's shortest landing strip. Fortunately for Py and Stamps, they had an ace pilot who got them down in one piece before crashing off the end of the strip. Then there's the time Flyboy took Stik and a couple girls over Cape Lookout. The cape there has vertical cliffs that drop straight 200 feet to the ocean below on the south side. In fact, a plane crashed into the very same cliffs a number of decades ago, and there is a memorial plague on the cape. Well, coming in fairly low, Flyboy forgot about the treacherous winds whipping over the cape's cliffs. Suddenly they dropped more than 50 feet in less than a second! Stik told me later he wasn't worried until he looked over and saw the look on the pilot's face. Flyboy told me he thought they had lost the engine. But it only took him a second to realize it was the wind and level the plane out. Stik, who hadn't been feeling so well on the flight already, tested the craft's barf bags. Great way to impress the girls riding with them. The Latest: Word is out that the world famous aviator has earned his bachelor's degree, making him the first college graduate in The Click. Rumor has it that his plans from here are migrate to Antarctica to take up clubbing baby seals illicitly for obscene amounts of money on the black market fur trade in Madagascar. There's another nasty rumor going around that he's leaning toward becoming a computer guru at Intel over continuing his world famous air show.
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I'll never forget the time Py was coming home from work in his brand new shiny white sports car, the most powerful car in the Click, as he put it, when he forgot to look both ways. After running a stop sign on the back country road, he suddenly felt the car jerk forward as if it were being pushed. Looking back, Py realized that, how about that, the car was being pushed! A semi-truck had appeared out of thin air, so he reported to me later, and vaporized the back half of his new sports car. Well, the two vehicles were still in motion, and about this time, Py's brain turned to jello and he decided to just keep driving to his house, which was only a couple of miles down the road. What Py didn't realize was that there was actually someone driving that semi-truck when it hit him, and the driver reported the accident to the police. A couple hours later a squad car came driving up Py's private driveway, and an officer asked him, "Is that your car?" "Which one?" "The one with the back end caved in and the imprint of a semi-truck in it." "Oh that one! I've never seen that car before my whole life! Aliens musta put it there. No, wait! Communists! That's it! Communists planted it there trying to frame me for that accident with the semi earlier around 6 o'clock of which I know absolutely nothing." "What about this proof of insurance that was found in the glove compartment with your name on it?" "Are you kidding? I don't drive with insurance! This sort of thing isn't my bag, baby." "The what about this book that was on the back seat entitled, 'How to Runaway from the Scene After Being Hit by a Semi: This Sort of Thing is My Bag, Baby'?" "It wasn't me! It was the one armed man!" "Yeah, yeah. Tell it to the judge. And don't call me baby." Well, Py did tell it to the judge, being charged with causing the accident after volunteering the information to the police that he ran the stop sign. Then appearing before the judge his mind again turned to jello, and he forgot to bring up the point that he freely volunteered the information about running the stop sign. Thus even till this day when you drive past "Py's Corner," you can still hear the sound of that fateful day-- Py thinking, "Runaway! Runaway!" Since that time, many visitors to Pysan's home in the secluded Oregon outback have asked why he keeps the fortune cookie fortune over his computer monitor which reads "Today you have an unusually magnetic personality." Be sure to check out Py's world famous zoology site, NatureZoo. Also, Py has tried his hand at poetry, and you can browse through a few of his poems here.
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One of my favorite legends of Snoopy was when we was up on Mt. Hood back in '92. Now mind you I've known Snoopy almost as long as he's known himself. Well, we had been camped out there for a few days up at Skyloo. There must've been about a dozen of us or so, the younger guys included. I was smart enough to share a tent with Stik, a considerable distance away from Snoopy's tent. It was Poor ol’ Bunk if I recollect correctly who wound up with Snoopy. Well, that week had been pretty quiet, for a week out camping with the Click. No one had died or even seriously injured, except, that is, for Jim Hess, who had an unfortunate encounter with a "Frog the size of a horse" and dislocated his shoulder. Funny, now that I think about it, Snoopy was right next to Jim when it happened. That, and Py had managed to pull some people in the water as he practiced his world famous falling in water while fishing technique. I told those guys not to go fishing with him, but they never listen. Well anyway, I was minding my own business one sunny day, walking into camp, when all of a sudden there was a gigantic explosion. The whole mountainside was rocked with the sound which, not too surprisingly, came from our camp. Well I ran into camp there to see what was the matter. Snoopy and Stik and some of the other guys had put a can of green beans in the campfire, and it had exploded. Never would I have thought that a can of green beans or even any of the noisier kinds of beans make such a roaring noise. Another can went off sending vegetables flying by our tents. I knew where this was going. It was only a matter of time before things got ugly. So I did the only responsible thing; turned right back the way I came and pretended I hadn't just seen Snoopy and Stik blowing up Mt. Hood. Snoopy, as smart as he was, took off after me. Apparently he didn't care to be there when the peaches went off. Well who should we run into on our way to anywhere that would be the farthest point from Skyloo but our leaders, Jim Hess and Bishop Denny. Snoopy didn't seem especially glad to see them. I tried to ignore the whole situation, using my powers of denial. But just then it came over the radio, "Explosions up at Skyloo. They must have got TNT up there!" And it did sound like it too. The many explosions could be heard miles away, louder than a shotgun discharge. Jim Hess and Bishop Denny looked at each other and started up to Skyloo faster than Py falls in water. Snoopy just sat there next to me as they passed, practicing his innocent, "I don't have clue why those vegetables are flying through the air" face. Well of course Jim and the Bishop arrived back at camp to find who else but Stik trying to recreate Hiroshima. If I Remember correctly, it was just as one of the big wigs, Billy Booth, was walking into camp to see what was the matter when the peaches went off. Logs, coals, fruit and other debris flying through the air, Stik did his best to cover up the explosion from Billy's view by spraying a small stream of water from a garden hose he had gotten a hold of. Of course Stik was quoted saying, "Snoopy was involved!!" That's not the end of it either. As punishment, they told Snoopy he could either leave camp and go home, or he had to go on an over night horse ride. Well, Snoopy hating horses as he did, went to his tent and gathered his gear together to go home. "No, no," they said, "You don't understand. We're not giving you a choice. You're going on that horse ride!" I don't know if we actually have any pictures to prove it, but not only did we get Snoopy on a horse. We got him one of those crazy, suicidal horses, you know, the kind that run straight for cliffs, especially when Snoopy is riding them. He survived the ride though, despite our best efforts. But now we know what to threaten him with the next time he tries to blow up camp with vegetable explosives. The Latest: Snoopy is currently trapped in a Matrix called DOAC. For those of you who aren't up-to-date on your pop culture, a Matrix is a false reality in which people live, made to benefit the creators of the false reality. In college, Stamps coined the phrase "false inscape," which is applicable to this situation. But, at least it keeps him from getting into a lot of trouble in the real world. Somehow though, I think he will find a way. You can also check out his webiste at www.losnoopy.com. Although he many (well) hidden qualities, perhaps Snoopy's greatest virtue is his dependability. If you're ever in a jam, and if he can help in any way, he will be there for you. His name would be Old Faithful if he was a geyser.
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Originally from Alaska, I met Stik when his family was living in Oregon. When we first became acquainted in the sixth grade, I found him crude and annoying. Well, at least some things don't change. I Remember the time he wanted to see how many times a pick-up truck could roll over before stopping. Or the time he would come over a lot when I was living in the White House back in '91, but that's another story altogether. Then there's the time he dyed his hair purple and grew it out in dreadlocks. We had the misfortune of innocently driving into the middle of a knife fight one night, and the police didn't arrive until after we jumped out of the car and had broken up the fight. Well of course with that purple hair of his, Stik was the first person the police suspected. And we were the ones who had just stopped the dispute! It was about that same time when I took a whole van full of friends to go see a giant Christmas light display. Stik was supposed to come with another vehicle, but instead he changed his plans without telling us and went to get a haircut instead. The van broke down, and we became stranded! I didn't even hear from him after that for three days, and he couldn't understand why I was mad. That's my friend, Stik. Still, I'm glad he was at the airport the following week when I flew home after a serious car accident in California. There are many more stories about Stik. Unfortunately, most of them aren't repeatable. Now you can browse through some poetry by Stik. The Latest: Yes, that's right, Stik is officially
married. I know, no one thought that it would ever happen, but it did.
I don't blame you if you don't believe it. For that very purpose I've
included a few pics as proof:
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Pics o' Stik: |
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| *Names has been changed to protect viewers from harmful UV rays. |
This
is the page of Stamps' bestest best friends in that far off land I call
'Oregon.' They've been through so much together. Stamps taught Bunk
how to tie a tie. BP tried to teach Stamps how to drive a stick.
Py taught Ben how to swim in Ireland. Snoopy showed them all how
not to ride a horse. And Stik taught them the different between .
. . Anyways, they have been through a lot together over the years. I do
believe that when Stik and Stamps first coined the phrase, "The Click,"
they meant "clique," but their spelling never has been very
good.
™
